I hope I’m authentic. These past three years since my divorce have been challenging in ways I never could have imagined. I’ll be honest, I still have to practice letting go of my anger at her. Buddhist principles have been the reason I’ve survived. I’m glad that shithead is far away from me. She can stay away, I wouldn’t have good things to say to her or her mother. They are the opposite of authentic.

Thanks to the support of my parents I’ve become established in a new profession teaching college. Thanks to myself I also have a job with Uber. I have breaths of fresh air occasionally where I know I’m gonna be ok. My ex was a rage-aholic. Living in fear of her insanity hurt all of us. I thought I could change her. Instead she left me and blamed me for everything. If you talk to her, tell her to stay away. I have. I want nothing to do with her ever again.

“But the clock is another demon to devour our tone in Eden.”

I love the road Im on. It’s filled with patience and love for people. I will never understand my ex and I don’t care to. I tried in vain for 19 years.


“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

1 Corinthians 13 New International Version

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecyand can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhoodbehind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.But the greatest of these is love.

An excerpt from my soon to be released book (My second book thank you very much) “Adaptive Risk”

An excerpt from my second book, currently in its final processing stages: “I used to have an answering machine that when you got home and pressed the play button would say in a Siri-like digital voice “You have, no friends.” Wish I still had it. That thing would have probably been worth a fortune, to say nothing of my blue series Star Wars cards or for that matter my ex’s Garbage Pail Kids. The friends in my head remind me of that when I want to throw stuff out. What would be today’s equivalent? Maybe something like when I say “Hey Siri, turn off Do Not Disturb” and she abruptly retorts, “Do not disturb is already turned off, You’re a pathetic loser and there are no new emails, messages, voicemails, replies or comments, or prayers at your blog. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Damien Riley, go pound salt.”

Working on the final part of my second book today which is due out soon, my deadline is Christmas, I am hopeful it will sell and I’ll become more famous than __ Maybe it will get me friends and money so I can ask a good price for it. It will be a memoir on living with Bipolar disorder type one. I feel ok revealing it niw finally for two reasons: One, that asshole Robert Downey junior has spoken freely about his chronic diagnosis as have Carrie Fisher, Ye, Ned Beatty, Richard Dreyfuss, Selena Gomez, Brittany Spears, Demi Moore, and a long growing list of so many celebrities these days. it’s “en vogue” when you’re rich. It’s like a broken mood thermostat that everyday people who live lives of quiet desperation usually shut up about and could yse a book like mine. Though It may prove to be an albatross around my neck. I’m odd so it’s gotta come out sonetime. I thought, “Might as well write it.” Maybe it will educate people and reduce the stigma. It’s not so much thst I trust the masses as much as I can call myself an author since it’s my second book. I aint no noob. Do you also feel sonetimes friendless? Buy it when it comes out. It’s not just for my fellow bipolar losers checking their answering machines hopefully, it’s for any unsung hero who is persevering through adversity.”

Here’s a free copy of my first one. Read and Enjoy, it’s on me.

☮️ ❤️ and 😋