“Bitter lil me,”a non-love thought. A good numb is growing.
Recently I stopped expecting anything from my ex. Now I’m generally less mad how she is literally pinhead from Hellraiser 24/7 at times. So I learned this: don’t expect things, then you’re never disappointed 🙂 Good little lesson there kiddos. From the Annals of heartache 101. Remember that phrase from the 80’s “No brain, no headache?” Say it back to me: okay good. Now implement it. Note to self: “Remember what happened last time you vented online.” Oh yeah. Strike that. We still care enough to …. Can’t imagine anything much these days sorry. Like a it’s like a good numb tho. She says she put in her time. Wow. She left me with that mindset? Probably better she left. This has been a vent only.
Practicing Can Get Hard
“There’s a Howlin Wind a’ringin around my ears.” I have not lost my faith.
Someone on Facebook said I’d lost my faith. True, by some’s definition. Not by mine. In fact I have more faith than ever. There’s something very powerful that ripples out with a ripple effect in our rippling universe when you’re just doing the right thing Day In Day Out not telling everyone. It has like a rippling effect. You occasionally see your own growth in wealth, love, character, senses of pleasure, empathy, compassion, whatever you’re aware of. You just accept everything you’re aware of and when you catch a glimpse, a feeling of that ripple coming back, thats karma and it is hilariously frightening at times. I was never more in line with faith than I am now at 54, it’s called alignment, non-resistance. It has many cool names. This is my faith right here, right now. Its all there is. Breathe. This train is bound for Glory.
-Damien
“Son you reap whatever you sow.”
-Mike Peters, of the 80’s arena Welsh rock band: the Alarm