The Lesson (2015)

Being a teacher, I thought I wouldn’t like this dark gruesome tale. There’s however a license to savor things no matter how “out there” when seen in the horror genre. Don’t tell anyone but I dug this movie 😉

“All of this could have been avoided.” -Mr. Gale

Let me start out by saying this is a horror film but not in the broad sense. It’s full of violence and only those who are fans of the violence/horror genre will likely enjoy this film. Just wanted to stress that up front. Considering that, I dug it!

The Lesson (2015)
Cast
Robert Hands

as Mr. Gale

Evan Bendall

as Fin

Michaela Prchalová

as Mia

Directed by
Ruth Platt
Written by
Ruth Platt
Other Info

Horror, Thriller
Unrated Contains scenes of extreme violence.
1h 37min

Minor spoilers ahead.

This is a great horror film from the UK. The story surrounds a group of juvenile delinquents an their teacher. He’s trying to teach them but they just won’t have it. There is a sie story going on but it really just detracts from the main story I have described. Fin, a 16 year old hooligan, lives with his big brother and the big brother’s girlfriend, Mia. His life at home is brutal and makes his existence as a hooligan make some sense. Still, everyone has challenges. What makes a 16 year old go over the edge and vandalize his teacher’s car with a knife? That’s what he does along with his hooligan buddies.

The editing and camera work is very well done, especially in bloody scenes. We get a feel for Fin’s neighborhood and school. Make no mistake, it isn’t cozy or warm by any stretch. The setting is Fin’s home and school. We get the idea very quickly he doesn’t want to be at either. I sympathized with Fin. He didn’t have a mom or dad to seek advice from and his brother is a class a d***. At any rate, he goes too far one day.

The rest of the movie is the concept of kidnapping and torture. In this case it’s by a teacher. Mr. Gale does a great job as the monster villain. He brings Fin and his counterpart to a secluded garage and commences “The Lesson.” It’s a bloody barrage of hammers, nails, even nail guns, intertwined with the lessons of government and human nature through recorded time. Teacher and students are at their best. Unfortunately for Fin, he’s not fast enough for the high school teacher. Mr Gale does a lot of stuff to him, I leave the rest for you to see for yourself.

There is something like a twist you may not see coming at the end. It’s well written. This film was especially cathartic for me being a teacher of course. While I’d never go this far, I’ve often wondered what it would take to get certain delinquent types to become more focused. We all know students like that think. Thankfully, I don’t know of any teachers like this.  Mr. Gale is completely snapped, he has no remorse for what he does. It’s horror … remember that 2 word sentence before analyzing it, “it’s horror.” It lost a star with me for the home side story, I didn’t think it was necessary and it made the movie drag on a bit. Considering that, I gave it 4/5 stars. I recommend it to fans of the genre.

The Conjuring 2

From scares like a creepy toy that plays “The Crooked Man” to a phantom nun with yellow eyes, the Conjuring 2 will please horror fans many times over. Furthermore, I hope a third sequel gets made soon!

From scares like a creepy toy that plays “The Crooked Man” to a phantom nun with yellow eyes, the Conjuring 2 will please horror fans many times over. Furthermore, I hope a third sequel gets made soon!

 

The Conjuring 2
Cast

Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Madison Wolfe

Directed by

James Wan

Written by

Carey Hayes, James Wan, David Leslie Johnson

Other Info

Horror, Mystery, Thriller
Rated R
2h 14min

Like its predecessor, this movie features a story about the Warrens. In real-life, Ed Warren was a WWII Naval officer who, after the war, became a self-taught demonologist alongside his wife Lorraine who is a self-described clairvoyant among other titles. They are highly documented investigators of the paranormal. Ed is the only non-ordained demonologist, or one who performs exorcisms, recognized by the catholic church. They have published many of their famous investigations and claim to have done tens of thousands of them. In the film, Patrick Wilson plays Ed and Vera Farmiga plays Lorraine. The movie is based on their experience with The Enfield Poltergeist.

Director James Wan is well known for scaring moviegoers. His Saw and Insidious franchises have netted hefty sums from the wallets of people looking for that thing they’ve never seen before. He’s a master craftsman of the horror genre. There isn’t nearly as much blood and gore in The Conjuring 2 as you will find in Saw movies. Still, there are well crafted scares throughout. A spinning toy that sings “The Crooked Man” is part of one scare that has stayed with me.

Vera Farmiga does an excellent job as Lorraine Warren. You can see in her eyes and movement she has such a profound love and respect for her husband. When he picks up the guitar at one point to bring some peace and music to the haunted place, she is just as captivated with him as the daughters are. It’s interesting how Ed in many ways is the hero of The Conjuring 2. When I saw the first film, I didn’t know he was a real person. Knowing a little about Ed Warren’s history helped me appreciate him immensely in the second film. There is a lot of info on the internet and the Warrens even have their own website that is still up today. Ed has passed on but Lorraine is still with us. She speaks about her paranormal experiences at various events. This film concerns the possession of a young girl and how her family saves her with the help of the Warrens.

conjuring1

There is no doubt there will be another sequel since there are other stories about the Warrens that remain to be told. I think the first two in the franchise are both very scary horror movies with interesting real-life foundations. Because I was shocked and thrilled, The Conjuring 2 loses no stars from me. I highly recommend it to horror fans.

Below is a real treat, an interview with the Hayes Brothers, the writers of the 2 Conjuring films.

Dead Silence (2007)

Just after James Wan directed “Saw” he created “Dead Silence,” a creepy tale of a ventriloquist’s puppet.

Dead Silence (2007)
R | 1h 29min | Horror, Thriller | 16 March 2007 (USA)

A young widower returns to his hometown to search for answers to his wife’s murder, which may be linked to the ghost of a murdered ventriloquist.
Director: James Wan
Writers: Leigh Whannell (screenplay), James Wan (story) | 1 more credit »
Stars: Ryan Kwanten, Amber Valletta, Donnie Wahlberg

A happy-go-lucky fellow and his girlfriend have recently moved into their new home. They find it to be everything they want, but then this puppet is delivered to them.

James Wan is a phenomenal Horror director who has now become a producer as well. One thing I can say with certainty is that James Wan can craft a scary movie. Even though it feels a bit like something is missing here, Wan has left us with a very scary horror movie from credits to credits. All horror fans will find it worth watching I think.

Furthermore about James Wan: H seems to include a scary prop of some sort in his movies. You see it in the little doll and the mask of Jigsaw. Here, you see it in this ventriloquist puppet hell-bent on terror. It works quite well for scares. I don’t think you can ever get too jaded to not jump when a puppet like that moves all of a sudden. It’s creepy and probably has been in film and stories way back to the early days. Speaking of props, think about the bear trap in Saw along with the many gadgets and machines engineered to kill. Wan is definitely a prop director.

The acting is fine, there is nothing spectacular. It’s worth noting that Donnie Wahlberg was in so Saw sequels and he plays the detective here in this film. Much emphasis is put on the puppet and as a result, not much else is developed in the story. So, even though I really like the premise and the puppet, it loses some points with me for not being as well rounded a film as I would have liked.

7/10

Southbound

Short horror stories that come together on the road, the southbound road if you take my meaning of South.

A series of interconnected short films, “Southbound” is pure horror reminiscent of the 1970’s-1980’s minimalist styles.

Southbound (2015)
Cast
Chad Villella

as Mitch

Matt Bettinelli-Olpin

as Jack

Kristina Pesic

as Sutter

Directed by
Roxanne Benjamin
David Bruckner
Patrick Horvath
Radio Silence

 

Written by
Roxanne Benjamin
Matt Bettinelli-Olpin
David Bruckner
Susan Burke
Dallas Richard Hallam
Patrick Horvath

 

Other Info

Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller
Not Rated
1h 29min

These small films fit into one another just like the Twilight Zone movies. If you’re looking for a common theme, you’re likely to be disappointed, There are these giant devilish skeleton bats that chase some of the characters, apparently for justice. Other than that, it’s just a fairly well made, and simply made, horror movie with a few clever twists.

There is one part where a man is distracted by his phone while driving and he hits a girl who had just escaped a satanic sacrifice ceremony. He calls 911 only to become more confused by what has happened and of course frustrated. Some of the stories are like that, unsatisfying.

Th giant bat effects ARE satisfying, along with the final scene where we are brought up to speed about what’s happening in the chase in the opening scene. The movie works like a circle, setting you on a path and then replacing you there after you’ve finished another story.

This film has a lot of killing and blood in it. There isn’t much explanation for any of it though. I suppose you could draw the conclusion that if you live an immoral life, you’ll have to reckon with the grim reaper or the devil or some being at the end of your life. Not a very original idea for a horror movie but there are enough clever twists to keep you guessing. It lost two stars with me for the lack of explanation about many elements in the stories.

I suppose it could be seen as the devil is coming for those who have killed or sinned terribly but they never say why. If you don’t mind open ended movies, you’ll probably not get my criticism. I like finding out why the mysterious things happen. It pleases me when everything fit, Southbound is a good movie but seems to leave so many thinking projects up to the viewer. For plain text horror with minimal production, I recommend it!

The Shallows (2016)

This is not Jaws but several times it spikes the same level of scares. From beginning to end it had my attention, I was never bored, and a few times I was shocked out of my seat by what I saw.

Blake Lively shows some incredible strength as an actor carrying 2/3 of the film on her own in the water trying to get to safety against a gargantuan shark. Along with excellent writing and acting/directing, the effects are effectively terrifying.

theshallowsposter

The Shallows
Cast

Blake Lively, Óscar Jaenada, Angelo Jose

Directed by

Jaume Collet-Serra

Written by

Anthony Jaswinski

Other Info

Drama, Horror, Thriller
Rated PG-13
1h 26min

There are quite a few films out there that feature a blond girl surfing. Blue Crush, Soul Surfer, Aqua Dulce, and more. The posters are like this one, full of a beauty with a board. That is usually all it takes to bring a big crowd. In this case, while the image is the same, this is not just a girl surfer movie. Blake lively had a surf double, Isabella Nichols, who is the no. 1 junior champion surfer in the world. But with surfing scenes excluded, Blake did most of her own stunts. This is a very physical film and sometimes her physicality is crucial to telling the story. Plot is limited. Nancy (Blake Lively) is recovering from her mother’s tragic death by traveling to Mexico for some serious surfing. IN a very beautiful and secluded cove, she finds some near-perfect waves and starts enjoying them. There are two Mexican dudes there and they seem much more at ease with the beach than she is. They call to her but she never gets close to them. The guys leave and Nancy is face to face with a shark. What happens next is what makes it a thriller.

The following 2/3 of the film consists of basically one actor (Blake Lively), a big scary shark, incidentally the shark looks great, and an endearing seagull that Nancy talks to and is comforted by. shallows2You wouldn’t think that thrills and suspense could be generated with such minimal props but they can be and they are in the Shallows. There is an excellent use of 1/2 above 1/2 underwater camerawork. Instead of being clueless what’s going on under the surface, the director shows you and it’s even scarier. I have to take issue and challenge the movie calling itself horror. While there are unpleasant jumps here and there that shock the viewer, it’s a bit too “woman-against-nature” Survivor-like to be considered horror. If one of the surfers was a serial killer as a side story, I might accept the label as accurate. As it is, I see it as a thriller and a great one at that.

shallows3This is not Jaws but several times it spikes the same level of scares. From beginning to end it had my attention, I was never bored, and a few times I was shocked out of my seat by what I saw. Much care has been given to the CGI and props to make the shark attacks look real. The “final battle” between the shark and Lively is the stuff that award-winning thrillers are made of. I absolutely loved the way the director handled that. The Shallows is a top-notch thriller made with simplified tools. Blake Lively gives a strong physical and emotional performance. The film looses no stars with me, I give it a 5/5. Go enjoy it while it’s still in theaters.

The Final Girls

“Ever since I was a little boy, I’ve dreamed of being the final girl.” Duncan

Just like “Scream” in the 90’s, this film seizes the opportunity to mock and pay homage to 1970-1980’s horror flicks. It sets and hits its own comedic, horrific mark 100% on target. This is, hands down, a lot of fun.

The Final Girls (2015)
Cast
Taissa Farmiga

as Max Cartwright

Malin Ackerman

as Nancy / Amanda Cartwright

Alexander Ludwig

as Chris Briggs

Directed by
Todd Strauss-Schulson
Written by
M.A. Fortin, Joshua John Miller
Other Info

Comedy, Horror
Rated PG-13
1h 28min

This film is a refreshing break to be enjoyed most certainly by horror buffs, specifically, 80’s horror buffs. There’s also some laugh a minute comedy going o here. There’s been a movement in films recently of paying homage to 80’s films. The quality of these campy films has been mixed. An example of one that got it right in “Turbo Kid.” After watching that film, I felt the ectoplasm of Mad Max dripping off me. It was jam packed with stuff like Walkman’s and synthesized fight scenes. “The Last Girls” is in that same vein.

Through a freak supernatural event, high school seniors are transported inside a horror movie. One there, one is elated that a movie they loved so much is now their real life setting. Things happen, some funny, others horrifying. We hear the student’s theories on how to survive in a horror movie. Oh and yes, there is a killer like Jason Voorhies in “Friday the 13th.”

One member of the crew has a special challenge. Her once famous slasher-film actress mom has died in the real world but same is in fact resurrected in the film. There is a chance to save her, if she could only figure out how. All of this takes place at Summer camp where the killings are just as brutal as a 1980’s serious horror flick.

Someone notes that the last girl is always the one to kill the killer, hence the movie’s title. Some may be put off by the corny themes but I found it hilarious. At one point, they think a murder is fake so they taste the “corn syrup.” Guess what, they discover it isn’t corn syrup. This is really funny and I won’t make a big deal about it that the same gag is in “Tropic Thunder” when Ben Stiller’s character plays with director “Damien’s” beheaded skull. All of this film is borrowed or stolen, that gives us the right to laugh at it. For horror buffs who can step away for an hour or so and have a good laugh, I recommend this film.

Final Girl

Something different for the girl-kicks-ass genre.

Some movies give you backstory. Others expect you to fill in the blanks of why, when, and how. The truth is, “The Final Girl” doesn’t need much backstory, it starts with the action right away.

Final Girl (2015)
Cast
Abigail Breslin

as Veronica

Wes Bentley

as William

Logan Huffman

as Danny

Directed by
Tyler Shields
Written by
Adam Prince, Stephen Scarlata, Alejandro Seri, Johnny Silver
Other Info

Action, Drama, Horror
Rated R
1h 30min

I love low budget, simple, action-filled horror films like this. The story may not be plausible but you get what they are trying to do. It’s something about vengeance and something about victory … good triumphing over evil.

Abigail Breslin has truly grown up and shows how she can act and fight in her role as Veronica. I loved her in “Signs” as a little one and more recently in “Maggie.” She played a zombie great in that. She’s one to watch! The story consists of a group of popular scumbags in high school who “hunt girls.” I mean that literally, not that they are ferociously seeking sex. A man loses his wife and daughter to them and decides to train a young girl to defeat these truly evil and disturbed young men.

Most the action is at night. It unfolds more or less as you would expect. Like a james bond movie, it’s fun to see Veronica use her techniques in the real arena. For those who dig girl-kick-ass films, this is right up your alley. I loved every minute of it. It is simple, cool, hip, a little scary, and full of vengeance. How can you NOT like a movie with all that in it? This is a perfect movie, I highly recommend it.

Krampus

“You better watch out.”

A lot of kids beg their parents to watch horror. You can’t protect your kids from everything. I’d say let your guard down with this one. It received a pg-13 rating but I think kids 10 and up (who are over the Santa Claus thing, otherwise there may be all sorts of confusion) will have a rock and rolling time.

Krampus (2015)
Cast
Adam Scott

as Tony Engel

Toni Collette

as Sarah Engel

David Koechner

as Howard

Directed by
Michael Dougherty
Written by
Todd Casey, Michael Dougherty, Zach Shields
Other Info

Comedy, Fantasy, Horror
Rated PG-13
1h 38min

There are some really scary scenes but if you talk about it with your kids, they should get a kick out of it. “Krampus” is also a film for grownups. Fans of straight up horror may be put off by the juxtaposition of comedy, but for those wanting something sarcastic and quite different in horror, this is a good one to see.

Rotten Tomatoes didn’t like this film much. What that means s, a compendium of critics’ ratings averaged out below 67%. That almost kept me away from this film. I’m glad I persisted and saw it, despite the critics. It was a lot of fun!

I wouldn’t call this film horror. It could better be described as a Christmas comedy like “Home Alone” with horror conventions. If that sounds good to you, you have to go see this film. It starts out with all the trappings of a John Hughes film and then busts out with amoral killing, blood, guts, and even a doll that resemble sthe one from “Saw.”

The Krampus christmas devil is not new. From what I can gather, the mythology has been around for centuries. Apparently the Christmas devil will come visit you if you renounce Christmas and good will toward men. I think it’s hilarious how they took this story and made it into an instant Christmas classic. I’m a teacher of 28 ten year olds and I asked for a show of hands yesterday of how many kids had seen “Krampus.” The tally was: 28/28. Sometime old fogies on Rotten Tomatoes measure a film by tradition values and trends. One shouldn’t do that with Krampus. It will be on my Christmas viewing list for sure along with “A Christmas Story,” “Nacho Libre,” “A Miracle of 34th Street,” and “A Christmas Carol.”

As an aside, I’ll be pulling back from using Rotten Tomatoes as a first line impression of movies I am curious about. I think what’s happening is a lot of movies are not me seen by yours truly due to a low score with the critics. Sure, you take a chance not reading a rating for a movie but at the same time, that rating can act as a sort of brainwashing, a muddying of the waters that are your views about the movies. I’ve loved RT for years and I still do in a way but my usage is now going to be far less. Now, go rent Krampus and have some scary laughs >:) I gave it 5/5 stars because it is exactly what it advertises to be and I love movies that are true to themselves that way.

The Dark (2005)

Welsh legends and ghost sightings permeate this film. Is the daughter really dead? That is the question. Sean Bean’s character as her father seems to be the stoic sensible one while her mother Maria Bello’s is more desperate to believe anything. Was anyone duped? That’s what we waited to see through the running time of this film.

The Dark (2005)
R | 1h 33min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller | 26 January 2006 (Germany)

In mourning over the tragic drowning of their daughter Sarah, James and Adèle are visited by Ebrill, a young girl who claims she died 60 years ago – and bears a startling resemblance to Sarah.
Director: John Fawcett
Writers: Simon Maginn (novel), Stephen Massicotte (screenplay)
Stars: Sean Bean, Maria Bello, Sophie Stuckey

The director John Fawcett is also a producer, known for Ginger Snaps (2000), and Orphan Black (2013). Ginger Snaps has achieved cult status and is always a hoot to watch for it’s horror and teen ridiculous nature. Orphan Black is a tv show I really enjoyed, mostly due to the lead actress. Both of these works took enormous chances in doing something different. That’s probably why both were so successful.

Sean Bean and Maria Bello do a good job but since Sean Bean is so eponymous with The Lord Of The Rings, I couldn’t help but expect him to pick up a sword or slay and Orc. He wants his ex to accept their daughter is dead because he is rational, not unfeeling. Bello will not accept this and that’s what takes us into the supernatural portion of this film.

I’d have to say this one is a lot more predictable than Fawcett’s other two works I have mentioned. For that reason, I would recommend it as a light mystery/horror but not one you would clear your schedule to see. It does drag on a bit and doesn’t keep you guessing much with it’s simple story line. Add it to your Amazon Prime “worth watching” list, but maybe not your “must see” one.

6/10

Colossal (2016)

Codependency in relationships, jealousy from childhood friends, the empowerment of women, alcoholism, and Japanese monster movies, these are what the film Colossal works with as its palette. It is definitely a unique way of presenting these tried and true, effective themes in a movie. The writer/director relates them all together to make his statement in a convincing and effective way.

Colossal (2016)
R | 1h 49min | Action, Comedy, Drama | 21 April 2017 (Canada)

Gloria is an out-of-work party girl forced to leave her life in New York City, and move back home. When reports surface that a giant creature is destroying Seoul, she gradually comes to the realization that she is somehow connected to this phenomenon.
Director: Nacho Vigalondo
Writer: Nacho Vigalondo
Stars: Anne Hathaway, Jason Sudeikis, Austin Stowell

Writing and directing here is Nacho Vigalondo. He is a Spanish actor/director/writer born in 1977 with 21 directing credits to his name. The only really large scale American film is this one but he did direct a V / H / S sequel (oh my). At any rate, I get the feeling he may be better at the feel of Spanish culture movie than an American one. There are times the bar seems unreal and non-relatable. Beyond that, you have the two themes of Japanese monster movie culture and a city park in America at play and I’m not sure if he was mimicking rather than calling upon first-hand experiences. I will be looking for something more amazing from him in the future because I like horror and I like quirky yet visionary story-lines like this one.

Anne Hathaway does a pretty good job in this, though I found her at times to be “playing” an alcoholic rather than being damaged as one in real life. Maybe a grittier actress would have worked better. She does a good job however as a voice for women who are abused emotionally and physically in relationships which helps the strange metaphor of this film across to make a statement. I like her in everything she does, I just question the megastar being cast in a film such as this. She seems to pampered and that gets in the way for the message here I think. Jason Sudeikis is truly scary in this which is weird. He’s always such a buffoon. I think his childhood role and the adult bar owner role fit together seamlessly. It was interesting seeing him in a serious role and he worked with the story.

The story here is that a woman, recently out of an abusive relationship, winds up somehow back in her small hometown where she discovers an old friend and some strange happenings. Namely, when she drinks heavily and blacks out, her actions seem to be in exact parallel to a real life Godzilla-type monster in Seoul Korea. She sees the damage on CNN. Through trial and error she finds ways to avoid innocent bloodshed but her bar owning lifelong friend wants to show that he is pretty colossal as well and gets access to the same power.Like many metaphorical films, it ends open. We must decide for ourselves what really happened here. That left me feeling a bot cheated but also challenged to come up with my own meanings and conclusions which I think is the director’s intent. If you want a simple, thinking movie to talk about afterward with a good friend, this one’s for you. It isn’t horror or monster though, be forewarned. More of a drama about the abuse women suffer from men an how alcoholism is used as a crutch to avoid making something out of your life. Don’t expect monsters but rather an artsy, interesting film.

8/10

You can rent or buy this title now streaming on Amazon Video.